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A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway Julian Draxler Deutschland Trikot ," and we often take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.

Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?

Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.

Going into a relationship with the expectation that contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just take for a while.

We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other responsibilities change.

If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so you are much better off than you expected.

Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much more support than your original bargain called for!

You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.

If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.

We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity to give.

This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging, negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.
Author's Resource Box

Dr. Bola provides a complimentary copy of Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh from which this article is taken. Steal it at: http: SuperSimpleTipsMarriage

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MAPUTO, Sept. 27 (Xinhua) -- The Mozambican government denied on Wednesday the UN accusation of it for purchasing military weapons and equipment from a trading company in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK).


More than two weeks ago the UN Security Council experts said in a report that a investment company under the Ministry of Defense of Mozambique paid six million U.S. dollars for DPRK arms, violating UN arms sanctions.


In reply to the UN report, Mozambican Defense Minister Atanasio M'tumuke said his government had nothing to fear because it had never bought arms from DPRK.


"These are false accusations. Mozambique has never bought arms from DPRK. We look forward to the investigation from the United Nations and we hope that they apologize for the allegations" after the investigation, said M'tumuke at the end of the Frelimo Party's 11th Congress that began Tuesday in Maputo.


The Minister of Foreign Affairs and Cooperation Oldemiro Baloi also rejected the UN allegations, but admitted that Mozambique has been cooperating with DPRK for many years.


"It is not true that we have bought weapons from DPRK recently. The only time we acquired weapons from it was the early days of the country's independence, and this never happened again. But we maintain cooperation with DPRK," said Baloi.


According to the report, Mozambique was among the 11 African countries that violate the UN arms embargo on DPRK, which include Angola, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Eritrea, Namibia, Tanzania, Uganda, Benin, Botswana, Mali, and Zimbabwe.


Lantern festival held to celebrate upcoming National Day


Four pandas from SW China make debut in China's Shenyang


Int'l Conference on Intelligent Robots and Systems kicks off in Vancouver


WEF launches World Competitiveness Report 2017-2018 in Geneva


Modern manufacturing, transport help six Chinese provinces develop fast


A look at Kantuman Bazaar in China's Xinjiang


Scenery of terraced fields in Houyuan Village, China's Fujian


Scenery of high-speed rail networks in south China's Guangxi


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